The Pawn in this Crisis: A Box of Earrings

This situation actually took place a couple of weeks ago, so don't bother alerting the authorities. I was reminded of it when I finally got around to downloading my photos. This box is the hostage to which I'm referring. I was the hostage taker. Big E was the victim from whom I attempted to extort money in return for information leading to the whereabouts of this box of earrings.

You see, Big E has a long history of misplacing items that were once in her possession and in Sadistic Parenting Fashion I was attempting to do something I've obviously failed to do up to this point called "Teach her a Lesson". The nerve.

No casualties were reported during this seige but I do believe that Big E felt she was being unfairly targeted with such harsh treatment. After all, her holes might close up! How was she supposed to find a 12"x 12" box of earrings in this vast cavern of a house or the pit she calls her bedroom? Nevermind that I found the box in question after a 5 minute search and rescue operation. I assured the box I would not forget it's location but that in an effort to prevent future episodes of Dislocation I would have to leave it there for the time being. Patience in the short run to ensure long term stability.

I taunted Big E with the fact of my knowledge and my willingness to part with said information for $20. Ransom was declined and she spent 30 seconds looking absently around the room waiting for the box to fly to her via her mental summons. When that tactic failed she followed it up with 30 minutes of whining about her Mean Mommy and the grievous harm I was causing to her bare and empty lobes. When THAT tactic failed she promptly forgot a box of earrings was missing and went about furnishing her Webkinz World.

Days passed and eventually the box was located by Big E. Oh Yeah! We were playing Makeover in the loft!! Silly me!

I do believe there was a Lesson Learned. Mostly that Mean Mommy wasn't going to cover her @ss when she decided she was too lazy to deal with her own belongings. I guess that's lesson enough for the moment.

No comments: