9/25/07

Attention Arachnids

Now Hear This! Your days are numbered. Come October 12 things won't be so cozy around here for your nasty, prehistoric-looking, terrorizing, venom-filled, needle sharp tails. I know you didn't think I'd do it. You thought you could count on my dislike of potent chemicals and desire to do the "green" thing. How wrong you've been. You got lazy and cocky and I'm here to tell you that I won't take it NO MORE. Do you hear? I'm not talking some Pied Piper resolution either. Oh no, no, no. You won't be getting off that easy. You think you can hurl yourselves through the freakin' air all around my head with no consequence? Think again, my little friend. Oh, I've imagined countless scenarios with a euphoric smile on my face. I'm reluctant to go into too much detail here, lest the Internet dub me sadistic and put me on some sort of watch list, but suffice it to say, your crunchy exoskeleton will not withstand the heat of a blazing bonfire.

But I've gotten off track. October 12 marks the day that will forever be remembered as The Last Days in Your World. And by Your World I mean My House. I'm giving fair warning right now. Any of you who choose to stick around and continue to terrorize me and my family will pay a hefty price. If you leave now, embark on a pilgrimage back to the greenbelt where you belong, we'll call it quits. No hard feelings - we all go our own happy way. If, however, you choose to stay, you should be prepared for the onslaught that you will encounter. You will have left me no choice. It WILL be ugly. It WILL be complete annihilation.

You've been warned.

1 comment:

grumpy said...

I don't know what you have planned but these creatures look prehistoric because they ARE prehistoric. They have withstood the onslaught of humans ever since humans arrived.
So, good luck! I'm pulling for you.