Spring Break Overload Syndrome (SBOS)

Symptoms include, but are not limited to:

  • Excessive crying brought on by too many nights of staying up WAY past bedtime. Excessive crying would be defined as CONSTANT, PERSISTENT crying that prevents neighbors from sleeping and drives parents to the brink of madness....or worse.
  • No desire to eat healthy food (i.e. anything that isn't served through the car window in a paper bag with a prize in it) brought on by too many meals of Chick-fil-a and pizza followed by birthday cake or ice cream.
  • A slack-jawed, wide-eyed blank stare resulting from consuming huge quantities of Disney and Nickelodeon-laced TV/movie programming.
  • Feelings of entitlement and bossiness from spending 5 days with grandparents who believe firmly that the sun rises and sets out of your ass and would not tell you NO even if you were asking for a hot-air balloon ride with your new pet monkey followed by an all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet.
  • Bruises and bumps and scrapes from playing as hard as you possibly can with your cousins for 12 straight hours, for five straight days with barely a break to eat, drink or take care of other bodily functions. Also, resistance to bathing which results in caked on filth in the ankle area.
Moms: If you are experiencing a jazzed-up, jittery, buzzing-yet-somehow-still-drained feeling from drinking enough coffee to drown a horse trying to get home and get your mentally and physically exhausted children to their own beds before they melt down into a puddle of blubbering flesh, they may be suffering from SBOS. Examine the symptoms above, make yourself a huge, steaming hot cup of tea in your favorite mug, get into your comfiest jammies and catch up on The Daily Show. SBOS will run its course and the kids should show signs of recovery within 24 hours of rest.

Let's hope.

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