Happy Day, earth!

Planet Rage
Where: Standing in line at the mega-market....
Who: Two mature ladies, one apparently the other's mother. We'll call one Meany and the other Old Meany.
When: Earth day, 2009

Act I, Scene 1

Old Meany: [voice loud but quivery] What's going on with all this stuff? Is it some kind of holiday or something going on?

Meany: [distractedly looking around] It's Earth Day.

Old Meany: [interested] Really? What's that? I don't keep up with all that stuff...

Meany: [barely paying attention] It's a day when we're supposed to do something nice or be aware of the environment.

Old Meany: [voice louder and less quivery] I TELL YOU WHAT, I am SICK to DEATH of some DUMBASS somewhere telling me what to do!

Meany: [a little less distracted, nodding enthusiastically] I know.

Old Meany: [getting louder] I mean, who the HELL are they? Just some overeducated ASSHOLES, that's what they are.

Meany: [sanctimoniously] Overeducated isn't what they are. STUPID. Stupid, is what they are!

Old Meany: [starting to trail off from her rant] I mean. The Earth. Good Gawd. [Incoherent babbling]

Cashier at grocery store: [perkily] Would you like a free fluorescent light bulb?

Old Meany: Now why the HELL would I want THAT?

Meany: [I didn't get all the words on this exchange but it ended with the cashier looking utterly speechless and dumbstruck and Meany pumping her arm with a....] Drill, Baby, Drill!

Happy Earth Day.

1 comment:

Jamie said...

This is hilarious. Thanks!