The Abyss

A couple of years ago a pair of scissors that I was trying to fish out of the junk drawer fell out of the back of the drawer, over the edge. Simple enough, right? I open the cabinet below the drawer (to which it is completely open, no piece of wood between drawer and cabinet below) to get the scissors. Except. Not there. I took out every single thing in the cabinet. Every single thing in the drawer. Everything in the drawer next to that drawer. I have NEVER found those scissors. Obviously they broke through the time-space continuum and entered The Other Dimension. A suburban Twilight Zone. Some Alter Me is using those scissors 5 minutes before, or 5 minutes after the Now Me.

And now that Alter Me is prancing around (SHE prances...I do not) delighting in the beautiful new earrings I just bought from a friend who designs and creates lovely jewelry. Damn her prancing and pretty earrings. And she and her Alter-Bubble Boy are enjoying all the 30+ DVDs that are in the beehive that have plainly sought refuge in The Other Dimension as well.

Earrings?? I never even got to wear you! I'll be good to you. You'll have your own private compartment in the jewelry drawer. I won't submit you to the rigors of hard water in the shower or bend and crush you by sleeping on you. You'll have a good life here. I'll buy the matching necklace so you won't be lonely. Come back to the Now.

'Cause if you don't I feel a little crazy. You were in my hands one minute and then the next. Poof! Gone. Where? The OCD is coming out and I'm looking everywhere. Where are you!!??